The Brown Machine Will Make It
Posted: April 9, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 1978, 1982, America, bad weather, bronco, camper, canada, denver, driving, ford, Montana, road trip, travel, truck, USA, wind, worry Leave a comment »I’ve never chosen to cease driving because of 20 km/h winds before but three minutes of wobbly bobbin on the Trans-Canada highway in the 1978 Ford truck underneath a massive camper with the words “you suck” scrawled over the horse logo made stopping the only option. We might as well have attached a sail to the top and taken it out on the lake. Every cross-wind gust just about tipped the ol’ girl into the ditch.
Some might think that choosing to drive for 1000′s of km’s in a $500 camper/truck set is a tad foolish. Perhaps, but it’s better than not doing it when it’s an option. What would be better? I’ve already awoken-worked-worked out-hung out-slept-repeat for years while thinking of my next safe-ish vacation. The two-tone brown unit represents a plunge into the unknown.
Aside from a bewildered look from a border guard and a nasty knock in the engine in Montana that was cured by adding oil instead of turning up the music (who knew), the freedom cruiser rolled along like the ocean liner it is. There is a letter that needs to be written to the city of Denver however, stating that the roads through that high city are not brown-boat friendly and need to be flattened. The Bronco just about fell over on a few unsuspecting motorists.
Hopefully this is just the beginning of many more kilometers for the ’78. Not knowing if we are going to make it to the next gas station or town is a test in patience and faith that there may be something else pushing us along. What is there to worry about? Probably nothing.
Wrinkly Bike Commuting
Posted: January 27, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: aliens, bike, bike commuting, commuting, cycle, dress clothes, dress up, mr dressup, nice tie, sports, wrinkle 1 Comment »As a bike commuter who has (gets) to wear collared shirts and sometimes even ties (gasp) at work I constantly struggle with how NOT to get wrinkles during the trip. The clothes are stuffed into my backpack after a good ironing and off I go. When I get to work, guess what? Wrinkles.
I’ve tried putting shirt and pants each into a plastic bag, leaving some clothes at work, and biking a bit slower with the clothes on if for some reason I don’t have to bike as far.
There has got to be a way. I imagine executives downtown show up and give their clothes to their assistants who iron them before they wear them. Maybe they even keep all of their clothes there. Maybe there is a team of elves on executive floors who just breathe hot elf-air on the clothes when they get there and it straightens right out.
What is your strategy? Is there a solution? Are we doomed to wrinkles?
This exec does it right. But how?
Quitting Facebook
Posted: January 26, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: facebook, friends, like, norman doidge, quitting facebook, social media, the brain that changes itself Leave a comment »
Quitting something that has been a part of my everyday life, no matter what it is, is difficult.
I recently took a 2+ month break from Facebook, aka, “deleted my account” because “I’m just taking a break but I’ll be back” even though “Steven and Bobby and Jeff will miss” me.
I’m reading a book called “The Brain That Changes Itself” by Norman Doidge and it talks about how the brain works when a habit or stimulus is taken away (ie. walking, seeing or smoking). There is a space, he says, where those patterns and thoughts were once active and neurons fired efficiently and regularly. It becomes vacant when that stimulation disappears and sends signals to the body that something is missing. It remains dormant until that space is replaced with something else, either more of something a person already does or something brand new.
That is a very small glimpse and a major paraphrase, forgive me. Great read though.
1. The first reason I took a break from the social site was because my life was (is) in disarray. I was using the site to voice thoughts that I would never voice if I were in a more normal state of mind. Like a person reaching for a breath of air under water. The problem is that Facebook or friends on Facebook can’t help when there is an inner change that needs to take place. It was time to look inward.
2. The second reason is that my mind was muddled and unfocussed due to the time I spent on the site; admittedly, around an hour a day. A stream of seemingly random status updates and information crossed my eyes in seconds. Hard to give myself time to understand and create my own thoughts when I’m reading other peoples musings.
3. The third reason is related to the second. There is a collective, if non-cohesive, think that perpetuates itself. The ‘Like” button pressed in abundance is what some strive for and these people (me included) would think about that “Like” button as they posted. Who doesn’t want to be liked? It’s easy to see what has been Liked and just as easy to recreate it in a slightly different way. Goodbye truly creative thought.
4. A fourth reason was that I was becoming confused by the meaning of friendship. I felt alone, but…look at all my friends! I left to seek that real feeling of friendship and found that I didn’t have it. Not due solely to Facebook of course, but it played a small part. I wasn’t ok even if the Like button told me I was.
I replaced that empty space in my brain with thoughts and writing. Facebook wasn’t the problem but it distracted from it. The social tool is nice to connect with friends but it’s nothing I want to think about when I’m living. I’d rather hang with friends I.R.L.
Hawaii On My Mind
Posted: January 15, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: big island, calgary, chinook, hawaii, kona, Mauna Kea, slush, surf, travel, westjet, Winter 1 Comment »When I looked down at my feet today and saw what salt and melting snow can do to dress shoes it reminded me of what my t-shirt looks like after it has been dipped in the ocean and left to dry in the sun.
That was a fleeting thought. I was jumping puddles and avoiding the splash of a Hummer’s tire as it sped through the slush beside me the rest of afternoon. A Calgary chinook is a blessing albeit a messy one.
The salt stayed on my shoe and the allure of the Hawaiian ocean stayed on my mind: the breeze, the smell, the pace. I can picture it now…
I will step off the plane on the Big Island into an open-air airport and perfectly humid air that makes me feel like I can grow my hair back. The Hawaiians won’t bat an eye when I hitchhike to Kona. The two shirts and two shorts I will pack will suffice for the high of 25C and the low of 24C. I will surf at Pine Trees, I will climb the Mauna Kea, I will kayak to Captain Cook.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
9 Reasons Why I Bike to Work in Winter
Posted: January 10, 2013 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: bike commuting, biking, calgary, cycling, cyclists, motorists, paths, Winter, winter biking, winter riding 2 Comments »Cycling to work in winter is not something I thought was possible 5 years ago. Now, I think of it as a challenge that many others have met in the city of Calgary so why don’t I? It’s easier than it looks and the benefits are multiple.
Here are reasons why I bike to work in winter.
1. Faster than transit.
2. Cheaper than driving.
3. It’s a workout.
4. Don’t have to take time to workout.
5. Instead of flipping the bird to a fellow motorist I wave at the cute girl passing me on a bike.
6. Get to try different types of warm layers.
7. Sense of accomplishment for defeating Old Man Winter at his game of “Stay Inside”.
8. The urban rabbits stop and give an approving nod as I roll by.
9. Skidding, sliding stops make me feel like I’m 8 again.
Some tips are found here:
http://bikecalgary.org/winterriding
Photo courtesy of Olivia Grecu
Th’s and ah’s
Posted: December 1, 2012 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: abraham, and, ape, buy, care. kill, dude, dumb, emerge, find, fuck, give, idiot, it, jenkers, live, nobody, sort, sports, the Leave a comment »
This, that and the other thing. There are a lot of th’s in that common statement. It’s not even a sentence. I can tell by the jagged green line underneath the words put there by Word to show me how dumb I am.
To Word I say, “I can speak dickhead”.
Not that dickhead is a language. I didn’t put a comma in the last quotation so it looks like it is a tongue that people speak.
Tongue is a funny way of saying language. I like to think I’m tonguing English right now. I feel like the World tongued the English when the Beatles emerged. The Beatles tongued Pop music.
There is a “dickhead” language I believe. It’s unspoken and it smells like New Car. It’s the thing that passes between when a guy tells a girl he just met how much $ he could make and why he chose to drive his BMW. That’s the dickhead language and it tastes like the fur of a freshly licked farm cat.
I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want to poop his or her pants. It’s a part of life. If she poops her pants does it smell like a flower? Yeah, it does. A flower that’s been shit on. I’ve seen nice flowers growing out of poop.
All sorts of poop. Dog poop, cow poop, moose poop, coyote poop, deer poop, bear poop and beer poops.
A guy came into the store today and used the staff washroom. He said before going in, “I hope it doesn’t stink in there. Like beer.”
What does that mean? That we were drinking in the morning? That we shat beer, left it in the toilet and didn’t spray the orange smelly-ridder stuff on top?
Idiot. We hide our work beer by the sink in the back. Covered in flowers so it smelled like flowers.
I stole his pants. Pants are dumb.
Winter
Posted: December 1, 2012 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Alberta, ambition, blog, calgary, canada, cold, crunch, frigid, ice, nature, pictures, poet, poetry, pre dawn, snow, stillness, tight time, Winter 1 Comment »Winter.
A white, frigid, desolate state.
Darkness comes too soon. Ambition is curbed.
Pre-dawn stillness broken by the crunch of heel to snow and cough to sleeve.
Breathing is tight. Time is slow. Distance is far.
Light fleeting. Heat revered.
Biting. Numbing.
Death.
Puking to Phuket
Posted: September 14, 2012 Filed under: Adventure, Beaches, Places, Travel | Tags: adventure, backpacker, beaches, boat, ferry, koh phi phi, phuket, puke, puking, seasick, seasickness, taxi, thailand, travel, vomit, waves Leave a comment »The ferry ride from Koh Phi Phi to Phuket, Thailand was a puke fest. Before we set off, one of the workers walked down the aisle offering vomit bags but not very many took them. What would we need them for? It was calm in the harbour.
After meeting another boat after departure to pick up 5 girls who got on the wrong one we set off. 10 minutes in I saw why he was handing out bags. It was rough! After hearing the “Oooh’s” and “Aaah’s” of the passengers the worker came down again; this time people took bags. We crashed and tilted about as though we were being driven too fast on the road from Port Alberni BC to Tofino BC with our eyes closed and no seatbelts on. I thought I was going to be sick.
I cranked my music so I couldn’t hear the heaving and moaning but some folks overrode and sounded like they were trying to sing background vocals to Dave Peters of Throwdown. After a while I felt asleep. Maybe the trick is to just take it like a baby in a cradle?
When we arrived in Phuket after 2 hours and filed off we could see dozens of bags of puke tied up neatly under the seats. I’d estimate there were around 300 people on board and that at least 100 left some of their mornings eggs and noodles behind.
I was hungry when I left the boat.
Don Dhet. Come for 1, Stay for 6.
Posted: August 27, 2012 Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Adam's, August, backpacker, Backpacking, Blues, Bungalow, dolphin, Don Det, don dhet, Don Khon, Don Khong, Guitar, Happy, Happy Cookie, Hut, Irrawaddy, Island, kayak, Kip, Laid back, laos, Mekong, Mekong River, Paradise, southeast asia, travel, vacation Leave a comment »
Don Dhet wrapped her loving arms around me and wouldn’t let me leave (I imagine Don spelled Dawn because most Don’s I’ve seen are dudes that, although a loving embrace would be welcome, I wouldn’t want to stay in it for too long).
I didn’t fight too hard to go to be honest and when Mr B’s wife told me I had been here 6 nights I just said, “Sounds about right.”
The little island on the Mekong in Laos brings the term “laid back” to a new level. Like granpy’s rocking chair when the last notch breaks and he doesn’t bother to fix it.
On a couple of the menu’s at restaurants on the sporadically paved “strip” it states “If you want fish, order 2 hours before” because they have to go catch one. At most places you have to go looking for a cook to get any food. They may be having a hammock snooze or minding some children but they are always happy to cook a little something. Prepare to be at a restaurant for at least an hour.
I gravitated to two places in particular; Paradise and Adam’s.
Paradise is a 10 minute walk north from the main area but you won’t be able get by it without noticing. A sign hangs there saying, “Ask about our Guest Guitar” and the odds that there will be someone jamming some blues at any time of day are very high. The main reason for all the music is Lance, or “Poppa”, from Nashville who has been staying there for over two years with his wife Donna. They have fully embraced the culture and have made Paradise their home. Any passerby will feel their southern hospitality emanating from the porch.
Adam’s has movies playing all night and a regular night has between 10 and 15 backpackers sprawled out watching flicks after partaking of some Happy Cookies or a Happy Shake. When a movie ends, the Aussie bartender takes a vote on the next one.
Aside from jumping in a kayak, cycling around the islands (there is a bridge to the bigger Don Khon), and taking a trip to see the rare Irrawaddy dolphins there isn’t a whole lot to do. That’s just fine. Don Dhet has a moseying pace and it’s easy to buy in. Lot’s of 20,000 to 30,000 kip per night bungalows and they don’t ask you how long you’re going to stay. The six nights I spent in a shared-bathroom bungalow came to roughly $24.
I can swing that. From my swinging hammock on my front porch.
Everything shuts down by 11pm, even the bars on the “strip” including the popular Raggae bar where locals and backpackers congregate to smoke and chat.
Don Dhet is a good time. A great stop and those who go, want to go back.
